Aaron Adams’s Blowhard Blog

Here’s a picture of a place in Dayton named Kelly’s Corner Cafe which has now shut down because of Ohio’s insanely stupid smoking ban.

Thanks to Weird Dayton for the picture.

From the article linked at the beginning of this post:

According to Krueger, the store lost business after the smoking ban. “There was a significant difference since we had to enforce it,” she said.

“Ninety percent of my customers smoke, and when the cash flow is cut in half, basically overnight, it doesn’t take long before I can’t afford the supplies and manpower it takes to run a business.”

It’s OK Ms. Krueger, there are other people in this world who know what’s better for you and your customers than you do, and they’re willing to use the police power of government and turn ordinary citizens into criminals to save you from yourself.

“The saddest part to me is about our personal and property rights being taken away.”

Exactly right. The only business the anti-smoking kooks in this state and country care about is the business they’ve built spreading falsehoods about smoking and second-hand smoke.

Monday was when I finally let six months of pent-up exasperation over the iPhone explode into the world in the form of 68-pixel tall angry words interspersed with a quiet voice that said, just calm down. But today over at Fake Steve Jobs, I saw the picture that sums up this whole awful ordeal for me. This is exactly the kind of person I had in mind when I wrote my bitter screed Monday. In his condition. Doing exactly what he’s doing.

For the love of God people, it’s just a damn phone! It’s not worth having pictures of your naked, fat, hairy body all over the web, holding up a newspaper with an article that reinforces the readers’ already negative opinion of you. Have some damn dignity.

I just wanted to take a minute to say

Enough of the fucking iPhone already! Good Christ, just stop!

I like technology. I look forward to certain things with interest and excitement.

But for the love of all that is holy, enough is fucking enough!

When the iPhone was first revealed, I was indifferent toward it. Others are certainly entitled to their interest, that’s all well and good, but it wasn’t for me, it didn’t solve any problems I have or provide a service I want or need. To each his own. But now,

instead of being indifferent I actively hate the fucking thing because it’s so overblown and so damn omnipotent and such a masturbation object for you lifeless geeks that the rest of us who are normal aren’t allowed to be away from it.

Please everyone, throttle back just a bit. Put this thing in perspective. Go outside and see the sun and play with a puppy.

Stop analyzing every frame of every goddamn commercial! Get a fucking life!

I don’t understand the irrational fascination with this phone. I mean, what is it people think this thing will do?

It won’t make you skinny! It won’t make your dead grandparents come back to life! It won’t cure cancer! And it sure as hell won’t get you laid!

Ok, it’s almost lunchtime and I think my blood sugar is a little low. Maybe I’ll come back to this later.

OH MY GOD! I HATE THIS DAMN PHONE AND THE ASSHOLES WHO WON’T STOP TALKING ABOUT IT! KILL YOURSELVES RIGHT NOW! NO, REALLY, I MEAN IT! KILL YOURSELVES NOW! PLEASE, AS A SERVICE TO HUMANITY AND ITS COLLECTIVE FUTURE!

Good day.

To: Persons involved with TV promotions, all shows, all networks

Dear dummies,

Including an out-of-context clip or quote in your show promo or commercial makes me want to not watch your show. Stop.

Irritated,
A viewer

In case you missed it…

Study: 90 percent of phone owners find iPhone superior

A study done by Strategy Analytics’ Wireless Device Labs into consumer perceptions of the iPhone experience (emphasis added) shows that 90 percent of respondents gave the iPhone higher marks than their own handset.

So, 90% of morons find a phone they’ve never used or even touched to be superior to the phone they have now.

What bullshit.

“Nonetheless, the iPhone clearly represents a breakthrough in terms of user experience.”

User experience… THAT NOBODY’S HAD!

This iPhone hysteria got old and annoying a long time ago, and now it’s just stupid. Please, please stop. The iPhone will not cure AIDS and cancer. It will not clean behind my toilet. It will not make Arabs, Persians, and Jews all give each other a big wet kiss. It will not reveal the meaning of the universe. It will not bring your dead grandparents back to life. And most importantly, it will not make my hair grow back.

I have a feeling it’s going to get worse before it gets better. Is there anyone with a friendly militia compound looking for a summer guest?