This just in from Josh, concerning the latest Star Wars cartoon movie:
The movie has been given a “PG” rating because “sci-fi action violence throughout, brief language and momentary smoking.”
Seriously??? Momentary smoking? What the fuck is that??? I’m only guessing, but I assume they’re talking about Jabba, who smokes on his little hooka looking thing. And if they’d bothered to read any of the books like I have, they’d know that it isn’t tobacco or anything similar that he’s smoking!
And the obligatory screen capture:
Click for the full sized screenshot
So beware parents! Your precious, unsullied, pure children may be exposed to a cartoon that smokes, if only for a moment! Have your hands ready to cover their virgin eyes immediately when you think the smoking scene is about to intrude onto the screen and into your lives. Make sure your delicate flowers get a clear, stern lecture about the pure evil of smoking before and after the movie. And you may want to routinely search their rooms for the next year or so in case momentary exposure to a smoking cartoon inspires them to buy a pack of unfiltered Camels with their allowance money.
We are creating a future nation of pussies (if we’re not that way already). A briefly smoking cartoon is reason enough to contribute to a PG movie rating and a printed explanation. Smoking is an issue dominated by hysteria and kookery where responsible adults who choose to smoke are vilified and ostracized in every way imaginable, all justified by junk science and the tyranny of the majority. “We want it that way,” and that justification is good enough to force smokers into compliance at the point of government’s gun. Just wait until your favorite voluntary personal habit becomes the target of the righteous and the sensitive who believe they have a right to be totally free from anything offensive ever happening to them, and they’re not afraid to fine or jail you to preserve their increasingly fragile peace of mind.
Had enough yet?
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August 15th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
I’ve long believed that if there really are this many impressionable people in the country then we should start advertising suicide so as to rid our gene pool of these weak-willed imbeciles.
I have almost never said this out loud, but I have long thought it.
BTW, when I read this to my wife, currently feeding our not-to-be-wimpified newborn, she asked “Is it someone’s body that’s smoking?”
August 16th, 2008 at 10:20 am
The UK has gone even further, with a website that explains to different categories of people how they should handle alcohol:
http://www.drinkaware.co.uk/parents.html
…including a section for those that don’t drink, with a little tip that says drinking may be good for those over 40.
August 16th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
So I saw the movie last night. The “smoking” was EXACTLY what I said it was. Ziro the Hutt, Jabba’s uncle, is puffing on what appears to be a hooka. In reality it is NOT a hooka, but that doesn’t matter to the Protectors of Children now does it?
The “smoking” occurs for less than 20 seconds of the two hour film.
As an aside, just as the previews were beginning to roll a couple came into the theater carrying (what else) a baby seat. At first I thought “Oooo they’re clever. I bet they’re hiding their snacks and drinks in there, since you can’t carry bags or purses into theaters anymore without the item being searched. And not searched for weapons or anything dangerous, but searched for food, drinks or a video camera.” But then the Dad came into view from behind the Mom, and he was carrying a fold out box full of concession stand snacks and drinks. SO, the great Protectors of Children don’t want their kids to see “smoking” in a movie, but they sure as hell will make sure YOU suffer through their screaming kid at a movie that YOU had to pay good money for. Don’t you even dare think about complaining about the kid either, you horrible spawn of hell that hates children.
(Addendum: Thankfully, the child in question was silent the entire movie. I’m convinced they drugged the child beforehand, as it was a rather loud movie.)
August 26th, 2008 at 12:31 am
My though is, what is the purpose of showing jabba’s uncle smoking anything? It’s not like X-Files with cigarette man, where he would obviously need to smoke. It gives nothing to have below minor charecter smoking or doing anything, so why subject your movie to a higher rating for what amounts to nothing.
August 28th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
Why is smoking considered such an offensive thing to see that it should necessitate a warning for the viewers? Why shouldn’t a cartoon slug be able to appear to smoke a cartoon pipe without the need to warn others? Are our children really so stupid and so impressionable that they should be forbidden from seeing such a thing? (Or, to phrase it another way, are parents so awful and so incompetent…) Who is hurt by a smoking cartoon, and why should a movie maker or other artist be subjected to warnings about or (coming soon) removal of a smoking scene because… Oh wait, I answered my won question! Because it’s for the children! Everything is justified in the name of protecting the children, no matter how restrictive it is to the freedoms and liberties of adults.