Aaron Adams’s Blowhard Blog

In January 2007, I was on a bus with the staff and listeners from Your Mac Life headed to the Apple campus for a visit. The hot topic of discussion was the rumor of an Apple phone of some kind, probably a cell phone. I was doubtful. Apple, I said, wouldn’t be dumb enough to tie itself to a single (or any) cell phone provider because sales of the phone would be directly affected by terms the cell company offers. Align yourself with a crummy service provider and the phone suffers, I said. Apple could become an MNVO, I was told. Apple could release the phone unlocked, I was told. Really, everything will work out for the best and the phone will be the second coming of Christ.

The next day, we found out that the iPhone is tied to AT&T. (For five years.) Walking back to the hotel after the keynote, Shawn King and I did the quick math and figured out what the cost of the phone would be over the two year contract period and we decided it was too much to pay and not worth it. Six months later, Shawn reversed his position and purchased an iPhone. I haven’t.

After this year’s WWDC keynote, I was very excited about the new iPhone 3G. I was excited enough to post here that I would almost certainly be getting one. It would be genuinely useful to me at the price Apple announced, assuming rate plans were similar (or - hope of hopes - better). Obviously the phone was being subsidized by the rate plan, but at the time we didn’t have any specific details.

The primary complaint people have about the iPhone, Steve said during the keynote, is that it’s too expensive. I’ll give Steve and Apple the benefit of the doubt and assert that they’re misinterpreting the results of their questioning rather than misrepresenting them. When the respondents said the iPhone was too expensive, they meant the cost of the phone over the length of the contract, not the initial purchase. Anyone who doesn’t realize this is either surprisingly ignorant or fooling themselves.

AT&T announced their iPhone rate plans this week. The new iPhone plans, from what I’ve read, are identical to the smart phone plans for other makers. And I have only two words to describe those rate plans:

Ass rape.

Despite whatever discounts I may get for the iPhone purchase and service, the cost-benefit equation just doesn’t add up. There is no way the iPhone is worth what AT&T will charge over two years. The greatest irony is that I pay less for unlimited minutes and unlimited data through my current cell provider than AT&T charges for 450 minutes… and my provider is a piggy-backer on the AT&T network!

A few years back, I used my face and voice and words to promote Apple and recommend their products to a number of people I’ll never be able to count. I gave my reputation, earned a lifetime of mockery and has-been-ism, and suffered through infinite repetitions of “15 minutes of fame” as spoken by asshats for very little return, either in terms of money or respect, because I care about computing and I believe Apple is on the right path.

The iPhone is an awesome device, but Apple’s alliance with AT&T is a short choker chain around its neck. As much as I’ve recommended Apple’s products before, I dismiss the iPhone equally as emphatically because of its ties to AT&T. Reading the forums of any Apple-oriented site shows that I’m not alone in my disdain for the iPhone-AT&T alliance. The iPhone is a success, there’s no doubt, but what is Apple missing by being tied to a single carrier who has such ridiculous prices for so long?