I just wanted to take a minute to say
Enough of the fucking iPhone already! Good Christ, just stop!
I like technology. I look forward to certain things with interest and excitement.
But for the love of all that is holy, enough is fucking enough!
When the iPhone was first revealed, I was indifferent toward it. Others are certainly entitled to their interest, that’s all well and good, but it wasn’t for me, it didn’t solve any problems I have or provide a service I want or need. To each his own. But now,
instead of being indifferent I actively hate the fucking thing because it’s so overblown and so damn omnipotent and such a masturbation object for you lifeless geeks that the rest of us who are normal aren’t allowed to be away from it.
Please everyone, throttle back just a bit. Put this thing in perspective. Go outside and see the sun and play with a puppy.
Stop analyzing every frame of every goddamn commercial! Get a fucking life!
I don’t understand the irrational fascination with this phone. I mean, what is it people think this thing will do?
It won’t make you skinny! It won’t make your dead grandparents come back to life! It won’t cure cancer! And it sure as hell won’t get you laid!
Ok, it’s almost lunchtime and I think my blood sugar is a little low. Maybe I’ll come back to this later.
OH MY GOD! I HATE THIS DAMN PHONE AND THE ASSHOLES WHO WON’T STOP TALKING ABOUT IT! KILL YOURSELVES RIGHT NOW! NO, REALLY, I MEAN IT! KILL YOURSELVES NOW! PLEASE, AS A SERVICE TO HUMANITY AND ITS COLLECTIVE FUTURE!
Good day.
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June 25th, 2007 at 2:25 pm
Don’t hold back Aaron… tell us how you REALLY feel.
–chuck
June 25th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
Did you hear that the iPhone will have YouTube AND it can read Word Documents and Excel spreadsheets?
June 25th, 2007 at 3:46 pm
…and I heard the iPhone WILL cure certain kinds of cancer of the ear by transmitting the reality distortion field directly into the ear canal.
AND if you if you rub the iPhone’s touch screen enough times you’ll experience an iOrgasm.
June 25th, 2007 at 4:54 pm
Way to go Aaron! You said it.
This thing can not live up to the iHype.
Plus I live in Canada so I won’t see one for months so I don’t need this much iPhone iAttention.
June 25th, 2007 at 5:44 pm
OK…that’s the funniest thing I’ve read all month…..
June 25th, 2007 at 5:44 pm
LMAO
Bless your heart, Aaron
June 25th, 2007 at 7:03 pm
I could not agree more. I wish Vienna had a filter that would automatically delete all headlines that point to articles about the iTelephone.
It’s a phone. Yes, it’s a cool phone. But it’s a phone.
Let me know when they add fellatio to it’s list of features. Until then, ’nuff said.
June 25th, 2007 at 7:37 pm
I hear the iPhone will do penis enlargement, too!
June 25th, 2007 at 8:03 pm
I feel the exact same way…except for one point I disagree with you on. Somewhere, somehow, the iPhone WILL get someone laid. Granted it will be a sloppy, awkward, clumsy, unwieldy, rodent-ish kind of laid, but somewhere somebody is tappin somebody over that fracking phone. Count on it.
June 25th, 2007 at 9:35 pm
Thank you.
June 27th, 2007 at 3:56 am
I hear that the iPhone gets you straight into heaven when you buy one. I’m buying mine ASAP! Plus, now I have my iPod and my phone in one device..
I agree with Shawn, that is the funniest thing I have read all month!
June 27th, 2007 at 10:40 am
[...] history is unfolding, but on the other, many people are getting sick of all the iPhone hype. (some people really sick). Not living in the US and not being able to get a phone does not mean I have no interest in the [...]
July 3rd, 2007 at 9:32 pm
Aaron,
and your hate for the iPhone is meaningless and pointless — if people listen to you none of their problems will be solved either. Hence, by your own logic you have invalidated all that you have just written.
If it makes you feel good writing complete nonsense and have people get off on it, then go for it — have fun.
Being sick of a particular “hype” is not constructive and posting in enlarged text doesn’t make your drivel any more meaningful.
Instead of defining yourself as an anti IPhone-hype person, why not offer a solution (ruminations) as to how all people can be saved from hunger and recall their loved ones from the other side, all at the same time.
Please, make yourself useful!
Cheers.
July 3rd, 2007 at 9:43 pm
Let’s all of us get together and summon Aaron’s grand-grand-grand-mother and then show her to an Apple store. Can you imagine, poor Aaron, when his granny walks out with an iPhone in her hand, giggling.
Poor, Aaron. He has forgotten how to have fun.
Cheers.
July 4th, 2007 at 9:45 am
Forgotten how to have fun?
Why can’t going on an expletive filled rant be fun?