Aaron Adams’s Blowhard Blog

For a while now, I’ve considered compiling this list of words and phrases I read on the Internet that immediately destroy the poster’s credibility with me. I’m not going to explain why I’m presenting this list, or why each of these words irritates me or reflects badly upon the writer; I’m simply going to list them. And don’t bother asking me for any kind of justification, you won’t get one. If you don’t like this list, or you use any of these terms, please check out a more appropriate site for your mental abilities.

This list will be updated as I discover new words.
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At MWSF 2005, my heterosexual friend J Curtis decided that he would visit the massage booth on the show floor to relieve some of the muscle aches that inevitably develop after several days of walking on a concrete floor for hours on end. Since I happened to be the person with him at the time, he handed me the video camera and asked me to tape his massage so he could cut it into a funny little piece with some music under it for Your Mac Life. The one fly is this ointment that J didn’t count on is that the only person available at the massage booth at the time was a guy. J got into the chair, the masseur started rubbing his shoulders and neck, and I turned on the camera. It was apparent that J felt a little awkward, and the masseur wasn’t entirely happy that he was being videotaped giving a massage to another dude. When it was over, I snickered, J rolled his eyes, and the masseur probably took a break and called his girlfriend. I dubbed it MWSF 2005’s Most Homoerotic Moment, and then J made me promise not to mention it to anyone, which I haven’t, until now.

Fast forward one year to MWSF 2006. Steve Jobs is on the keynote stage speaking about the Intel transition, and then a cloud of smoke comes from behind the curtain. Paul Otellini emerges wearing a clean room suit and carrying a shiny metal disc. Paul gets right up close to Steve, looks him directly in the eye, and an exchange like the following takes place:

Paul: I’m ready, Steve.
Steve: I’m ready too, Paul.
Paul: Being trapped in this suit has made me so hot…
Steve: Let me hold your wafer.
(awkward pause)
Steve: What’s everybody looking at?
Audience: Nothing!

I never thought Steve was gay. Who knew? It was like Paul and Steve were going to start making out right there in front of everyone. Let’s be honest with ourselves: Steve has a lot of things most men his age don’t: A decent body, a ‘tude, and the coinsss grrrrl. snap snap He can definitely do better than Paul Otellini.

So I hereby dub Steve and Paul’s keynote voyeur show MWSF 2006’s Most Homoerotic Moment.